Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Spank - Get Bent
Spank Independent

Not sure by the name whether it's some band of half bank-clerk / half chartered accountant cabriolet queer-core but it's not even Pablo Cruise never mind Gay For Johnny Depp. I mean, whaddya expect? Anything but (ahaaa!) a bad joke of mindless boardroom genetically-mummified mitherings. Really, why bother? Maybe they thought it'd get them attention and if it's just to sell at local gigs at the village fete then fuck me with Gordon Ramsay's prize pea-masher they'll be the toast of the town in no time. Mark my words in Egyptian bas relief for eternity. One or two of 'em may even get to fondle a farmers daughter after her shift in the pub and have something to brag about at the rugby club for a weekend. Unbelievable how lifelessly bland the backing is what with the soul-leeching, creativity-crushing vacuum they flaccidly work on right up to the chest-thrusting throaty vocals that smack of Coverdale pumping iron and stifling a wank while weighing-up his guns. Awful. The high-water mark from the bottomless barrel of baleful butterscotch in the barn suckery. Have fun guys. Better start smacking each other guys. Get bent? You got it gang. Get buggered.
Stu Gibson

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