Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Yob

The Illusion of Motion
The End

Time to take another trip across the limitless seas of sonic cacophony, those big fucking seas they are, and I can't fucking wait. But in the midst of all the flailing of limbs, the gnashing of teeth, and Sunn amps on 15, there is a different world just parallel to ours, where there are limitless amounts of buxom teenage She-babes endlessly banging their slightly firmer than usual knockers against the wall of their confines trying to wake up cousin Ed and his ailing grandfather next door. But cousin Ed won't let that old man have any fun, will he? No, he wants all of them bountiful bundles of goodness all for himself, that selfish prick. That buttfucking ambulance chaser with a hard-on for the long lost sullen flesh of years past. (You know the type, this town is full of them.) Just take a walk for a few, you will have a list by the time you get back. So, not to let this man die without a smile on his face, I feel this ungodly burning need to impose my will at this particular time. So. Mr. "I'm going to turn a car over because our team won." Can you and your significant other, "Miss Future Brood Mare Of The Fucking State who actually cares what Jewel thinks and judges humanity by the type of socks they wear", Can you please take those chains off that old codger and let him have a go at the good life for 5 minutes before he has a heart attack and dies or I'm going to unload this Miss 45 in your fucking faces? When Mr. Wonderful and the future Eva Braun finally agrees to do this, (with much deliberation from their lawyers), the poor bastard has a heart attack and dies right after he stands up and says " I'm free!". Well, he died happy. Problem is, they should have done that a long time ago. Sounds allot like the things that are happening around us right this very second. But worded a little differently.

But does this CD sound like that? No, it does not sound like that at all. Yob's newest release makes me recall that scene in the 13th Warrior when the Vikings were sailing across the seas swaying back and forth on and on with the waves crashing over the sides of the ship with beaming happy looks like a bunch of school kids on a Disney ride, with one guy looking like he is in a desperate need of a sick bag. But he eventually comes around waving his sword like a maniac around saying over and over again, "it's a man." And that is a good thing too. At least he won't be turning any cars over.

-Greg D

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