Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Weaklings

Rock n' Roll Owes Me
DeadBeat

Jesus, were truer words ever spoken? Rock n' Roll surely does owe me, and while rock n' roll is at it, hell, lay a little sugar (or whatever) on Portland's own Weaklings, last seen (by me) on Junk Records' infamous "Going After Pussy" comp from 1999, which ended up killing half the bands on it (New Wave Hookers, where are you?). Not the Weaklings, tho. Usually, it's EASY to kill weaklings, but not these fuckers. Must be the booze fortifying 'em. Anyway, this here is a vinyl-only release, which scares off the sales for most of the under-25 crowd among us, but that's ok, man. The Weaklings don't need to sell a million of these things, they just have to get in the sweaty hands of enough big mouths to generate the sorta buzz they deserve. And deserve it they do, cuz they are easily the best garage-sleaze-punk band since the Black Halos, if not the almighty Dragons themselves. What puts bands like the Weaklings over the edge is not the copped Eddie Cochran riffs, the Johnny Thunders solos, or the narcotic hand-claps on the choruses - I mean, all the stuff is boss, but it's also pretty easy- what really knocks you out with an outfit like the Weaklings is the utter confidence with which they swagger around. I mean, these cats KNOW they rock, they have not whit of self-doubt in that department, so all these songs are really just the Weaklings rubbing their cock-rockitude in yr face. Just smearing it right in there. And I am down with that. Best on deck- "On with the Show", a Texas Terri meets Gary Glitter glam-rock-cum-sex show that just rocks all over the place, and the headbangin' flash rocker "Straight Flush", which would make both AC/CD AND Junkyard proud. And it's got cowbells, too. This is a massive record, baby. Ya might have to go out and buy a dusty ol' rekkid player just to listen to it. You owe the Weaklings that much, I reckon.

-Sleaze

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