The Crime Is Now!
The Von Zippers, as we all know, are the surf Nazis that menaced Annette Funicello and friends back in the 60's*. They like dirty rock and roll and cheap beer and Mousketeer tits, and they ain't afraid to take over the whole fuckin' beach if they have to. The do play surf music, sure, but it ain't that beachball-bouncing bubblegum stuff, it's a savage, shark spotting, neo-punk garage kinda surf music, for people that really wouldn't be caught dead at the beach. It's a beach blanket bango played by guys in monocles and those fucked up, twirly Red Baron mustaches, and made for the kind of people that only like doin' the twist when they're wearing Frankenstein masks. It's a freakout and a clambake all at once. With harmonicas, even. I dunno exactly what kind of crime the Von Zippers are committing here, but it's most definitely happening, baby. Get Zipped!
*Not really. They're actually a bunch of Canadians from right now. The real Von Zippers are probably eating honey mush or something by now, but I bet they're still mean fuckers.